August 22-29, 2014

[Adley☮]

Exercise 5: You must write about inventing something that has never been invented before, 700 words max. Write about how this invention benefits you and your peers. Must go in detail about how the invention works. Invention cannot be inappropriate/pointless.

by Jubs

[Adley☮]

Generation, Extraction and Asteroid Robot (G.E.A.R.)

OVER VIEW
G.E.A.R. is a type of robot that lives in space, mining asteroids for resources. The robot refines raw ores found on asteroids, into metals. The robot also refines water found on asteroids into fuel. Using the metals and fuels found on asteroids, a G.E.A.R. can construct replicas of itself. The basic idea behind G.E.A.R. is that one could be sent to space, after five years that one robot will have multiplied itself into a vast fleet of robots, ready to mine and refine asteroids. All this refined asteroid material could be sold to space company’s looking to build things in space, or it could be parachuted to earth for human use.

DESCRIPTION
G.E.A.R. consists of a central body, accompanied by 5 worker robots (directly controlled by the central brain) and 20 scout robots (also directly controlled by the central brain). G.E.A.R. consists of a central brain, solar panels, expandable storage containers, batteries, fuel tanks, drills, frame pieces, furnaces, vats, 3D printers and thrusters for moving the entire body. G.E.A.R. roughly resembles a circle, with a long bar coming out one end, attached to the bar are storage containers. When compacted G.E.A.R. is 27 cubic metres, about the size of a small room.

WORKINGS
1. Asteroids
There are four main types of asteroids, C-type, S-type, M-type and V-type. C-type asteroids contain water and organic compounds, which would be refined into fuel. S-type asteroids are made from stony materials, used for making chemicals. M-type asteroids are made from iron, which would be used to build the robots and mining equipment. V-type asteroids are made from igneous materials, which could be refined into glass. G.E.A.R.s would send scouting robots to test asteroids for these resources, when an appropriate asteroid was found, a G.E.A.R. would propel itself to the asteroid using an ion thruster.

2. Extraction
In order to extract the resources from an asteroid, G.E.A.R. assembles a circular frame resembling a ring around the asteroid. Drills are mounted onto the ring, which drill into the asteroid, separating its valuable resources into small pieces. The frame is assembled by a worker robot, which also collects the resources, mined by the drills and delivers them to the refinery.

3. Refining
All the collected resources are taken to the refinery, where they are made into useful materials. Oxygen is filtered into tanks; water is filtered and then split into hydrogen and oxygen. Other organic compounds are separated and stored for making chemicals and steel. Rocks are separated, crushed and stored for making compounds and chemicals. Iron is smelted, mixed with chemicals and organic materials to make steel and then disintegrated for usage in the metal printers. Lastly, the igneous rocks are sorted and stored as valuables or smelted into glass. G.E.A.R. does not keep everything it finds on the asteroid, only things that are either useful to it, or valuable to humans.

4. Generation
Probably the most defining and valuable feature of the G.E.A.R. is its ability to duplicate itself. It does so using a collection of 3D printers. It uses a circuit printer, a metal printer and a magnet printer to make various parts and pieces, which are assembled by worker robots, to create everything from solar panels, to thrusters, from computers to frames. Which all come together to create a G.E.A.R.

STATISTICS
I lied; I don’t know any of the statistics involved in such an invention. Also I’m sorry if you found this too long. How to end this? Oh I know, HAIL HYDRA.

By Adley

[JustJosh]

iTeleport

Creator: Apple Inc.
Purpose: To teleport the user to their favourite artists’ concerts.
Positives: The iTeleport is a great way for people to listen to their favourite artists in one of the best ways possible! It lets you know when the concerts are, and with the push of a button, you’re there!
Negatives: In the case of a malfunction, the user may be accidentally teleported to a concert of a much hated artist, such as Justin Bieber. But not like that’s ever gonna happen, right?
Credit: Even though the iTeleport was invented by Joshua Wlodarczyk, the credit actually goes to the ghost of Steve Jobs, since, you know, he started Apple Inc.

By Josh

[TheWritingMuffin]

Mirror Mirror
by Megan Ferguson

Every girl desires to be pretty. Well, more than pretty, beautiful, ravishing, the image of perfection if we are quite honest. In a world far away, there was an inventor. Some would say the inventor of evil. He made great and terrible things that captured the hearts of people in that world far away.  Only the wise and strong could resist his lies. He would trap people in his snare, promising them something they desired, but the cost was often fatal.  

I take you now into this world, into the world of a girl named Gisela. Gisela was actually a very attractive girl. She was of average height and complexion. Her hair was nut brown and she had mossy green eyes that sparkled when she smiled. But what made Gisela special, was her compassion for the poor in spirit, her love of music, and her sense of humor that made even the grumpy blacksmith chuckle his deep, melodic laugh that came straight from his soul. Gisela lead a happy life that many would envy, she never lacked companionship. She was even being courted by the baker’s son, Michael.

Often, one could find Gisela walking in a garden everyone referred to as ‘the meadow.’ It was an extraordinary place where she talked with Qanna. Qanna was like a Father to Gisela, wise, loving and kind. He warned her of the Inventor of Lies. Qanna asked only that she love him, as well as others.  They would talk for hours. Every day he would remind her “Know, Gisela, that you were created just the way you were meant to be created. Don’t try and change that.” Gisela, not thinking seriously about it would always reply “Of course beloved Qanna, I would never do anything foolish like try and change myself.”  Yet it is easy to forget something that you have heard so much. This seems a strange concept, but once you have heard something over and over, it starts to lose its potency, it’s meaning, and the Inventor sees his chance and strikes.  

Gisela indeed loved others, but sometimes love can twist your judgement, your common sense…
After one of her daily walks in the meadow, Gisela ambled into the quaint town headed for the bakery. Double checking her list, she needed… hmm two loaves of…. Wait. What was Michael doing with the florist’s daughter Violet? Was he hugging her? Violet was always after Michael, Gisela saw now that she had succeeded. Tears stung her eyes as she fled. Her heart shattered like a fine crystal glass, to no more than a heap of glistening dust on a filthy floor. After all, she wasn’t anything special, she wasn’t as pretty, or as smart, or even as funny as Violet. If she had been as pretty as Violet, Michael would still love her.  But if Gisela had actually looked, she would have seen an uncomfortable baker’s son; with a girl he didn’t think much of draping herself over him after she ‘tripped’. All Gisela saw was her faults.

Racing, broken heart pounding, Gisela stumbled through the forest far away from the town, far away from the meadow, far from Michael, far from Qanna, far from love. A loud rip sounded as Gisela’s long skirts became tangled up in her feet. Tripping, branches tore at her sleeves and face. A shadow passed over her and Gisela shivered in the cold as the wailing wind nipped at her nose.

“You look awfully cold.” A voice said.

“Who are you?” Gisela spoke, as she backed up against a tree, frightened and alone.

“That is not of importance.” The voice whispered.

“What do you want with me?” Gisela cried.

“I want to help you.” Suddenly a body appeared to match the voice.

A young man emerged from the shadows, a dark cloak over is shoulders. His hair was flaxen and his eyes a cornflower blue. If one was to look carefully, they would see that the eyes were hollow, void and utterly evil. Immersed in sadness and loss, Gisela did not look carefully and was taken in by the youth’s appearance and warm tone.

“I want to help you” He repeated.

“I know a great many things about you Gisela, and I wish to offer you something to help you meet your deepest desire. What would that be Gisela?” The voice turned into a silky, hypnotic purr.

“I- I want Michael back.” Gisela stammered.

“Of course you do sweet. I mean, you’re lovely, but no match to Violet. She’s much prettier than you. Beautiful I would say.”

Fresh tears spilled over onto Gisela’s flushed cheeks as she bowed her head in defeat.

“Yet… hope is not lost.” The blue eyes gleamed with the excitement of a hunter about to finish off his wounded prey.

“What I have here is a mirror. It is a…. invention of mine. It is special; it will grant your every wish. Here! Take it!”

As Gisela reached her small hand out to grasp the mirror, darkness swirled in the mist around the two of them, a still small voice told her to flee, run from this man, this gift.  Storm clouds gathered above them and the wind began to moan and shriek. The very woods they stood in seemed to cry out in warning. Her hand closed around the mirror, thunder boomed like a canon, a raven shrilled and all was still. The man was gone and a tiny seed of selfishness was planted deep in Gisela’s heart.

In the still of the morning Gisela walked back to the village the blood red sun shining in the path before her.  
When she reached her bungalow she examined the gift carefully, it was a wrought gold mirror, with rose red rubies and smooth pearls embedded on the back. Her first request of the mirror was this.

“Mirror, please make me have stunning black hair like Violet.”

At first nothing happened. But then slowly, agonizingly, a slow tingle began on Gisela’s scalp, and then the tingle grew to an itch, and the itch grew to a fiery pain, until everything was normal again. Gisela looked in the mirror and found in place of her playful nut brown hair, were raven black locks. If one looked closely they could see that Gisela had lost a bit of sparkle that danced in her eyes. You have to understand, when Gisela used the mirror, she lost part of what made her special. When she tried to change herself the mirror claimed her sense of humor as payment.  The seed of selfishness sprouted, but only a tiny bit.

When Gisela visited Qanna that day, she chatted on merrily; missing the sadness evident in Qanna’s deep, loving eyes.

Calmly walking into town she saw Violet perched sassily in front of her father’s store, flaunting her exaggerated hourglass figure for the whole town to see with not a blemish to be seen on her china skin. The spout of selfishness and anger was watered and began to mature.

“Mirror, give me a figure better than Violet's, and a complexion more fair than the fairest maiden in the kingdom.”

Tingle, Itch, Burn, and then nothing. The Mirror claimed Gisela’s musicality. Almost fully grown, the sprout was now a vine, thick and choking out Gisela’s heart.

“Mirror, I demand voluptuous ruby red lips and tempestuous indigo eyes.”

After the final request regarding her appearance, the Gisela that had playful nut brown hair and a wonderful sense of humor, a fine complexion and figure, that danced in the meadow and sang with the birds, the Gisela that had a kind heart for others and a love for Qanna, was gone. She was a slave to herself; she was the only thing that mattered. She worshiped herself and no longer knew what love was.

Out of a sense of duty and obligation she went to visit Qanna that day. They had a conversation that went something like this.
“Hello Qanna. Notice anything different about me?”

“Oh my sweet Gisela, what have you done?”

“What do you mean?” Gisela’s bright tone turned deadly.

“Do you not remember what I told you? Beware the
Inventor of Lies and don’t try and change who you are.”

“Don’t you think I’m beautiful?”

“No, I think the Gisela who had a compassionate heart was beautiful. You are fair on the outside but a pit of snakes on the inside.”

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU! You’re just a jealous old man who doesn’t know what he’s talking about! I hate you!” Gisela screamed at Qanna.

Turning away with anger in her soul Gisela walked into town one final time, although she wasn’t aware of it at the time.

“Michael will love me. I’ll get him back and then Qanna will see. I AM stunning.”

“Michael!” Gisela cried running, arms open, towards the young man.

“No! Get away from me, don’t touch me.” Michael spat.

“What?” Gisela breathed “Don’t you love me?” Tears
pooled in her indigo eyes.

“I’m perfect now! Better than Violet! Don’t you see?”

“Oh Gisela… I never wanted Violet. I wanted you.”

“Well, you CAN have me! I’m right here, right now.”

“No I don’t know you. I’ve watched you around this village. You’ve become a soulless enchantress whose only love is the love of her own self. You no longer love Qanna or me, or anyone for that matter. All that you care about is your vanity. I loved the Gisela who was compassionate to the poor, loved to sing and dance and praise Qanna, who made everyone laugh and lead by example how to have a relationship with Qanna. I’ve lost the true Gisela. For her I will always grieve. Go now. And repent! Qanna will forgive you! You know he will.”

“No. I will never, go back to Qanna, he’s jealous of me, he wants to hurt me.”
“Then the Gisela I knew is truly dead. Go now. Do not come back.”

Gisela screamed a bloody scream and ran in pain back to the forest. Back to where she first took the mirror. She took the mirror and tried to smash it. Again and again she tried but it would not give way. Sobbing in her anguish that silky voice appeared again.

“You have no choice left my sweet. Listen to me and I will make you more powerful than any Queen to ever walk this earth. It’s simple really, all you have to do, is stay the most beautiful in the land, which you already are of course. Besides, no one will ever love you. You will never, ever. Be good enough.”  

Gisela’s face contorted with all the pain and grief of knowing that no one would ever love her again.

“I am ready. Make me powerful so that I may make the lives of all these pitiful wretches a waking hell.”

“Excellent. You shall be known now, simply as, The Queen.  Just remember that your powers will only last as long as you are the fairest of them all. I will give you a new mirror to help you.  All you have to do is ask it

“Mirror, mirror, on the wall, whom is the fairest of them all?” And it will show you who indeed is the most fair.

Epilouge
The Queen from that moment forward lived in a dark tower alone, for all of her days, with only a raven to keep her company. Her life as Gisela, the girl with nut brown hair was forgotten. Ruling in terror blackness swept over the land. Deep inside the Queen still longed for love. One day she ensnared a man and his young daughter. She forced the man into marrying her, threatening to kill his young daughter if he refused. He never loved her and died only a few months into the marriage. The young girl was made to be a servant. This tale may be starting to have a familiar ring to it. Yes indeed. The young girl’s name was Snow White.

Note from the Author.
Perhaps this world is not so far away from our own. Don’t try and change yourself, for the Qanna of our world knew what he was doing when he created you.  Beware of comparing yourself to others, for it will only lead you down a dark road such as what happened to Gisela. For outward beauty does not make you, the fairest of them all.

[Wlonnie]

For years, modern writers have struggled to keep in touch with both the pen and ink of times gone by and inventions such as the typewriter and word processor. Some have simply given up the fight and adopted laptops as their main form of writing. But for those who are still searching for a way to keep track of their handwritten work, a new invention created by Twinvention Corporations may be just what you need!
         The hand-held word scanner is a device that most people would recognize as a pen. The first special feature hidden beneath its surface is the reusable erasable ink cartridge that can be changed by screwing off the top of the pen. The pen also has a tiny screen and plug-in port on its upper half. What are their purposes? The hand-held word scanner has a built-in memory chip that records everything it writes. When plugged into a computer or laptop, all of your written work can be transferred to a word processing document. As for the tiny screen, its LED lights glow in the shape of numbers to announce how many words have been written with the hand-held word scanner since the last time it was plugged in.
         Black is the basic colour of a hand-held word scanner, but the devices come in a wide range of over thirty different colours. Since the product is new, it is only being sold in specific stores such as Staples, Wal-Mart, and Costco. A wider market range is coming soon. The hand-held word scanner is currently being sold at the cheap price of $19.99 for its basic black package. Any other colours are $21.99.
         As you can see, the hand-held word scanner is not only a practical and logical invention, but one that is easily accessible and has the simplicity to be used by anyone. Remember, you can only find them at three stores; go pick up your hand-held word scanner today!

[Admin]

K9-Watchdog

Manufacturer: Guardian Industries

Standard issue of the global Intergalactic Police (IP), circa [star-date] 2430

Description: A highly intelligent non-organic entity based solely on upholding the law and protecting its fellow co-workers, officials and officers to the best of its programmed abilities. Can perform a number of duties including but not subject to target neutralization, bunker penetration, high-speed chase, exceptional tracking abilities, and (although not recommended due to efficiency degeneration) the option of remote control. All K9 units respond obediently to the pre-programmed voice commands, and feature highly advanced voice recognition software.

Make: Fueled by quad hydrogen power-cells and built from turadium components, the K9 units are able to withstand temperatures exceeding 3400 degrees centigrade (6,152 degrees Fahrenheit). Each unit weighs in at about 102 kilograms (224.87 pounds) and stands 1.37 meters (4.5 feet) at the shoulder, with a daily upkeep of around 200-1300GC* (depending on its individualized performance/damage sustained throughout the day). All models were built and designed to survive a small nuclear explosion.

Performance: The K9 units have continued to perform above and beyond the originally anticipated expectations of the designers who helped bring this vision to life. With hydraulic pistons installed in the legs capable of delivering over three tons of metric force, the units are capable of leaping great distances in both vertical and horizontal trajectories, and can keep up chase for extended periods of time at well over 300kmph. They have multiple neural toxins, electronic pulse stuns, and interrogative devices primed for immediate confessions. Their programming allows them to make verdicts and tough decisions when a superior is absent, however commands can be issued from a safe distance (and are delivered via governmental satellites when necessary).

*GC (Galactic Credits) is a form of currency widely accepted throughout most of the Milky Way.

[Sunshine1498]

Have you ever been minding your own business when all of a sudden you come across a bug stuck on your bedroom ceiling? Have you ever become frustrated because you just can’t get that bug, maybe because it’s too high, or in a hard-to-reach spot? Well, there’s no need to worry when you have a Laser Insect Remover! Shaped like a handy screwdriver, just point the Laser at the bug and press the button. Poof! No need to run for the flyswatter or bug zapper, no need to get a chair or stepladder to reach the pesky thing, just point and zap. No mess, no hassle, no worries. The advanced technology is derived from the magnified-and-concentrated-heat concept first invented by bored children, but instead of frying the insect, the highly-concentrated heat incinerates the carcass to leave no mess behind! Side effects may include the stench of incinerated insect remains, as well as minor frying, scorching, sizzling, and charring of the walls and/or ceiling. Air Freshener Sticks and spotted wallpaper of your choice are included with the Laser Insect Remover. Also comes with a protective waterproof case. Runs on two AA batteries. Batteries not included. Buy your Laser Insect Remover today, before they’re all sold out!

[ScrambledMemories]

Have you ever been bothered by young siblings that keep talking?



Try the new silence taffy™! It comes in little foil wrapped packages, each about the size of a Ipod mini, and comes with portion size servings on the back. A chunk about the size  of your index finger should be enough to keep them quiet for two hours!



If your siblings are being noisy while you are trying to complete a project, do school work, or watch a show, simply cut off a piece on the taffy, and hand it to them. 
They, of course will enjoy it because its candy, and you will enjoy it because it lasts for hours, leaving you with perfect silence while your siblings try to get around the large chunk of candy in their mouthes!

To order a package, simply call:
1-(250)-726-8887.



Large package: 25.00

Medium: 15.00

Small: 7.00



Hazards: Silence Taffy may cause choking, and respiratory failure if breathed in. Not to be given to children under the age of five. Packaging is not a toy, keep out of reach of infants and toddlers. 



Questions and opinions? Our email is:


Silencetaffy@yahoo.com



To mail us, please contact:


4717 Noble Link, Christopher Lake, ON, P0D-8O3, CA

[Hybukee]

Have you ever woken up from a great dream and thought, “Darn it, if only I could replay that dream! It would’ve made an epic movie.” ? Well now you can make that a reality with Dream Catchers by Twinvention Corp!

Science has come a long way, and we’ve finally designed a piece of technology that’s as versatile as a pillowcase! Just slip it on your fluffiest favorite pillow, and dream on.

Electrodes that are carefully sewn into the very threads of the pillowcase collects your brain activity data as you enter REM stage sleep, and reconstructs your dreams into any video format of your choice. All dream files are then auto-saved on a microchip, which can be plugged into your computer’s chip reader. How convenient! Saving your dreams has never been easier, for only four payments of $19.99 PER PILLOWCASE! What a steal!

With just two additional payments of $19.99, you can purchase the premium package that allows you to program the Dream Catcher however you like! Whether you want your dreams to be animated, altered (by switching characters, deleting characters, changing the storyline), or even in Black-and-White, it’s all possible with our Dream Catcher Premium package. Order in the next 24 hours and we’ll throw in a second Dream Catcher pillowcase for your friend or loved one!

Order today! Call us at 1-800-CATCHER.

[Natarsha]

The Flying Dragon 2.0

Let’s take a moment to sit down and think, let’s be honest here we’ve all wanted to teleport or fly. Now I know I have and I’m guessing most of us here have. So why don’t we all sit back and take in this very important information.
The Flying Dragon 2.0 is a flying machine allowing you to fly over seas to any given country, just type in the country and possibly whereabouts in that country and put it on just like a back pack and enjoy your flight for about 6.9 seconds.
Okay I know what you’re thinking, what if it rains right? Your thinking that, am I right? No oh well anyway, if it rains The Flying Dragon 2.0 comes with a built in full body length umbrella, your pretty much a superhero. Now I said enjoy your flight for about 6.9 seconds, that was an over exaggeration my friend what I mean is enjoy it for about 3-4.9 seconds depending on the flight. And guess what you can travel in time say you’re in Canada and it’s the 29th of August and a Friday well say if we went from Canada to New Zealand on that date it would be the 30th of August and a Saturday crazy right!? Well hold your applause *silence* because the best is still till come.
So I guess were all wondering how this works? *a cricket can be heard in the silence* Well I’ll tell you, you see after putting the coordinates of the country on The Flying Dragon 2.0 you simply slip it on, like so and press the big blue button to active The Dragon, once activated wings sprout from the side of the back pack with little jets attached to it. You then get strapped in automatically and get lifted off the ground and into the air like a superhero. Now this back pack doesn’t just transport you but you can put stuff that you need into it. Isn’t that neat!
So say if your best friend lives in Canada or your family lives in England, in a blink of an eye your teleported there to see the person, isn’t this outstanding! We can thank the creators: Unknown (Actual company name by the way) for this amazing invention! Thank you and good night.

[Sponsored content]